The Legend Of Hercules

OK, I'll start with a quick synopsis. Set in medieval Greece we start off with King Amphitryon attacking, and subsequently overthrowing Argos (the catalogue store always gets a battering in these type of films..) Anyway his wife is, quite frankly fed up of his tyrannical ways and calls upon Zeus to impregnate her. Then her second son can sort out this mess... (yeah, that'll work..) Anyway what do you know but King Amphitheatre (that's deliberate and not autocorrect) catches her 'doing it' and is none to pleased. Cut to 20 years later and Hercules is a hunk, he fancies the princess of Crete, older brother none to pleased etc,etc.. You don't need to know anymore, trust me..

Alarm bells sounded when I first walked into the screening. I wasn't sure if this weekends showings were advanced previews? Yeah, that what it is.. That's why it's on such a small screen.. No, the reason it's on a small screen is because it was made to be shown on a nonspecific, non terrestrial TV channel at 2.30am..

Ok, first the good points... I'd like to know what diet Kellan Lutz is on because he looked terrific..

Now the bad points... deep breath... Firstly, the really bad CGi... We're talking 'Mummy 2' bad.. Yeah, remember that one? I won't blame you if you don't, it was wiped from most peoples memory by the travesty that was the 'Mummy 3' (if the second film doesn't kill the franchise the third one will..)
Next there was the acting.. I'm sure Kellan Lutz is a nice bloke but actor? To be fair most of the actors couldn't 'act' there way out of a Cilit Bang commercial (where's Barry Scott when you need him?).
There was a section half way through when two characters are branded with a hot iron (you don't need to know why..) and I was feeling more pain than them...
And here's another thing ***spoiler*** The princess gets impaled through her chest with a particularly large dagger and you think not even Russell Crowe could have survived that..
The next scene there she is. She's given birth and is holding a bouncing baby.. Eh?
There is loads of sequences like this one, that are just....baffling. At one point I considered leaving but then thought "damn it no, I've paid nothing to see this and I'm gonna see it through to the bitter end credit sequence.."(which was abysmal by the way in case you were wondering).
The question that remains is "was it so bad it was good..?" I'm not sure.. I did laugh a couple of times. But was it entertaining..? Would I recommend it..? No and no.. Wait until it's out on a nonspecific, non terrestrial TV channel at 2.30am..
Overall, the worst movie of the year so far... *

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